Wedding Bells
We all know that they are not for me! One of my sisters - three years older than me - is getting married in September. After six years of dating and being engaged with her guy, they are finally tying the knot. I am happy for her. Glad that she has finally found the right guy. She asked for Miss K to be her flower girl and of course I said yes. Miss K is only concerned about eating wedding cake of course. My concern - going home.
Going home is a whole dark place that I don’t even want to think about. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but I love them from afar. That’s not right either, I shouldn’t have such anxiety about returning home, but I do. The next day that ticks off and the closer we get, the harder I am starting to take it.
There is a whole story behind ‘home sweet home’ that left me with bitterness. I grew up fine, my family was great, but once my father died of cancer when I was in high school, everything went down hill. Left at home to take care of my mom, four nephews and a niece, within two years home was no longer home, I left home at 18 and haven’t been home since.
It can really way on someone to leave at 18 and return at 34. In this long time span, I served in the Navy, married, had a family of my own, and have tried to accomplish things I don’t believe I would have had I stayed at home. Don’t get me wrong, I have stayed in touch. I fly my mom out once a year, tons of phone calls every month to mom and my sisters; we are together, just not in person, and there has been no reason to return - until now.
So, in order to celebrate the occasion and keep myself on the sanity path, I hired a personal trainer to get my butt into shape. Tuesday, Thursdays, and Saturdays, I will be working my ass, both to get into shape, but to help focus my frustrations on going home. Hopefully, this will help clear my head and let me let go of my own personal demons.
Wish me luck. I’ll need it!
February 25th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Good luck to you! Keep the ice packs handy! But you go, girl! ::cheering you on::
February 26th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
There is a reason I live three states away from my family and the in-laws… just simpler that way. Good luck.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
@ Stacy: Thanks! I will need the strength to get through the training. Today was my first day and I am still feeling it hours later.
@ Tara: Yes, much simpler living away. Hopefully it helps us keep our sanity. It is also good to know that someone understands.