I Don’t Want To Move
I admit that I am not too keen on living in Arkansas. I don’t hate it, I’m not miserable, but I can’t say this is where I want to spend the rest of my life either. Do I want to move? Not yet. I am in an OK place mentally and work-wise, and with my kids happy where they are, why is he pushing it?
Every year around the same time the spouse begins his “Let’s move” initiative. Need I remind you that we are in Arkansas because he needed to move back by his mom? I didn’t choose to move here, but since day one it seems like he is constantly wanting to go. Well, I told him to go if he wants. I am not keeping him here. With all of the past year and a half rolled up, I would not think any less of him if he did move.
“Do what’s right for you,” is what spilled from my mouth.
“I want you and the kids to come with me.”
Basically, that was the conversation all weekend long. He needs to understand that our sepearation has helped me realize that our children come first, not him. Moving is what he wants, again for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with family. I was done with that a year and a half ago, why on earth would I bring that back into my life?
Just another one of those complaints that leave me asking myself when he will get the point? We separated - it’s not about him anymore.
February 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
My fiance wants me and the kids to move with him to Florida from Maryland. I want to move, but the kids don’t. But I want to move and have my own house, not move in with my fiance. It’s too many steps at once to move in together, become a family, get married, and move over 1000 miles away. He says he needs to move now because of something his doctor told him about needing a warmer climate because he probably has seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is probably true judging by his symptoms. I think his diagnosis is SAD with a touch of middle-life crisis, but I hate cold weather too, so I’m going to go down and at least check it out. If I don’t go by this August, I’ll be stuck in expensive, cold Maryland for another 4 years (youngest ending eighth grade this year; eldest ending twelfth grade this year). Ugh! So I’m torn between the wonderful warmth of Florida (yes, I like it hot, very hot) and my kids not wanting to leave their friends…that they are going to leave anyway when they enter high school and college respectively. Should I trade the discomfort of cold weather season for hurricane season? What to do!
February 21st, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Paula - thanks for replying. It’s hard to make the decision to move especially with older children that are set-in-there-ways, just as much as you are. With my kids, my oldest is 12 and he is the kind of kid that just goes with it. I look at it this way, I traded hurricanes for tornados. At least with a hurricane you get some notice to pack up and go.
If you don’t mind me asking - where are you close to? I lived in Maryland until I turned 18 - then to Florida for the Navy.
Hope all works out for you! What kid wouldn’t want the beach?